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Forgiven : A House MD Songfic
Posted on 2008.07.14 at 21:53
Title: Forgiven
Rating: PG-13 for one use of the F word.
Characters/Pairings: Wilson, Cuddy, Amber, House even though he doesn’t talk in it. Wilson/Amber, squint and look sideways for Wilson/Cuddy.
Spoilers: All episodes to date, but mainly the S4 finale.
Summary: He felt numb inside.
Warning: The use of the F word.
Disclaimer: I do not own House MD characters or the show. All rights belong to Fox Co. and Mr. Shore. The only character I own is Mrs. Grayson & her husband. The song is 'Forgiven' by Within Temptation.
A/N So I uploaded a Within Temptation CD I have into my iTunes library ages ago, and I was listening to this one song, ’Forgiven’ and immediately thought about Wilson’s situation with Amber… Good God I’m a depressing person.
Wilson walked out of Amber’s hospital room with a heavy heart, dragging his feet. He felt numb inside.
Couldn't save you from the start
Love you so it hurts my soul
Can you forgive me for trying again
Your silence makes me hold my breath
Oh, time has passed you by
“James?” Wilson turned around in the hall to see Cuddy looking at him. That patronizing look of pity and sadness on her face. He couldn’t stand it.
“I‘m going home. I can‘t…I can‘t be here anymore.” Cuddy nodded
“Take as much time as you need James.” Wilson nodded without thinking and started walking to his office to get his coat.
Ooh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world
Ooh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own
Here I am left in silence
‘What do you think of these drapes? To pink?’ Amber asked as they walked around the Pier 1 she had dragged him to.
‘A little…yeah.’ Amber laughed and put the drapes she had been looking at away.
‘I’m inclined to agree.’ Wilson smiled at her lovingly. ‘Oh this is useless. All these drapes either don’t go with the décor at the apartment or they are some hideous shade neither of us could stand to look at every day.’ Amber sighed and looked at Wilson expectedly . ‘Should we just give up?’
‘No. I don’t like that the neighbors can see into the apartment. It’s creepy.’ Amber laughed again. ‘What?’
‘Nothing. James, I love you.’ Amber said wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing him lightly.
‘I love you too.’
You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done is forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done is forgiven
He looked into the room at House. House looked right back. He turned away from his best friend, not knowing what to say or think. Did he blame him for what happened? He wasn’t entirely sure. Who should he blame anyway? Should he blame himself for not catching what she was taking? Should he blame her for being a doctor and not knowing better? Should he blame House for taking so long to figure out what was going on? Fuck. He didn’t know what to think.
But when he went back to her… their apartment …he saw the note on the bed. It was all over.
I watched the clouds drifting away
Still the sun can't warm my face
I know it was destined to go wrong
You were looking for the great escape
To chase your demons away
Its been weeks since Amber’s death and he still feels numb. He sits at a bench in the park by PPTH , in the sunlight. It seems pointless. Cuddy’s worried about him and sent him to the park in an attempt to help him think clearly. To warm the cold demeanor he had adopted the past few weeks. It didn’t work. Warm his demeanor? Seriously? Did they know him at all? Did they know her at all?
Ooh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world
Ooh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own
And here I am left in silence
You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done is forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done is forgiven
“Well Mrs. Grayson I have to say your recent tests look really good.” Wilson says to a new patient of his. A young, 25 year old woman that just got married. She began to feel weird about two months ago and she went to her doctor. It turned out she had lung cancer… or they thought she did. She wanted to get a second opinion, and she had heard about Wilson from a friend of hers.
“Really? So I don‘t have lung cancer?!” She asked, excited. Hopeful.
“No. No you don‘t. In fact… it‘s something quite different.”
“Oh? What? ”
“You‘re pregnant Mrs. Grayson. Congratulations.” Mrs. Grayson’s face lit up .
“Oh! Really?! Oh thank you Dr. Wilson! Thank you so much! ” Wilson nodded as he opened the door and smiled at her. She noticed a picture of him and Amber on his wall. “I‘m sure you must be useful at home. What‘s your wife‘s name?” she asked, nodding towards the picture.
“Oh…I‘m…not married. That‘s my…was my girlfriend. Amber.” Mrs. Grayson frowned and looked at him sadly.
“Oh…Dr. Wilson. I‘m so terribly sorry. When did she pass away?” Wilson looked at her, shocked.
“Three months ago…how did you know?”
“Oh sweetie, a woman knows how to read emotions. The look on your face when you started talking about her… you are in pain. I figured…you either broke up or she had passed on. And I didn‘t think you‘d keep a picture of her if you broke up.” Wilson nodded, fighting back tears.
“I see.”
“Oh Dr. Wilson, I am so so sorry for your loss. I understand how painful that can be. But please, don‘t suffer this alone. It will destroy you. Go away for awhile. It might be good for you. I might be younger then you Dr. Wilson, but I understand the ways of the heart better then anyone. I can tell you loved her very much. I can tell you thought she was the one.” Wilson felt a tear slide down his face. “But dear, don‘t let this death rule over your life. You are very talented. You are kind, generous, and charming.” Wilson laughed through his oncoming tears. “You are a beautiful person Dr. Wilson, a beautiful person. You deserve to start over again.”
“Thank you Mrs. Grayson.” He felt a few more tears fall. “Thank you very much.”
“No problem hun. No problem. You seem like such a wonderful person. I tell you what, if you ever want someone to talk to, feel free to call me.” she went into her purse and pulled out a small blank card. She grabbed a pen from his desk and wrote her number down. “You deserve so much more in life then wallowing in the pain of the death of someone you loved. That you still love.” She handed him the card and walked out of his office.
I've been so lost since you've gone
Why not me before you
Why did fate deceive me
Everything turned out so wrong
Why did you leave me in silence?
He did call Mrs. Grayson a few times in the past month. They got together at a coffee house near her house. She had tea not coffee , obviously. He had the same. He always found tea a calming drink. He met her husband, who also managed to help him out.
He was recovering. Slowly…but surely, he was recovering from the most painful event in his life.
You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven
A/N How was it? Terrible? Not? To sad? Not sad enough?
Rating: PG-13 for one use of the F word.
Characters/Pairings: Wilson, Cuddy, Amber, House even though he doesn’t talk in it. Wilson/Amber, squint and look sideways for Wilson/Cuddy.
Spoilers: All episodes to date, but mainly the S4 finale.
Summary: He felt numb inside.
Warning: The use of the F word.
Disclaimer: I do not own House MD characters or the show. All rights belong to Fox Co. and Mr. Shore. The only character I own is Mrs. Grayson & her husband. The song is 'Forgiven' by Within Temptation.
A/N So I uploaded a Within Temptation CD I have into my iTunes library ages ago, and I was listening to this one song, ’Forgiven’ and immediately thought about Wilson’s situation with Amber… Good God I’m a depressing person.
Wilson walked out of Amber’s hospital room with a heavy heart, dragging his feet. He felt numb inside.
Couldn't save you from the start
Love you so it hurts my soul
Can you forgive me for trying again
Your silence makes me hold my breath
Oh, time has passed you by
“James?” Wilson turned around in the hall to see Cuddy looking at him. That patronizing look of pity and sadness on her face. He couldn’t stand it.
“I‘m going home. I can‘t…I can‘t be here anymore.” Cuddy nodded
“Take as much time as you need James.” Wilson nodded without thinking and started walking to his office to get his coat.
Ooh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world
Ooh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own
Here I am left in silence
‘What do you think of these drapes? To pink?’ Amber asked as they walked around the Pier 1 she had dragged him to.
‘A little…yeah.’ Amber laughed and put the drapes she had been looking at away.
‘I’m inclined to agree.’ Wilson smiled at her lovingly. ‘Oh this is useless. All these drapes either don’t go with the décor at the apartment or they are some hideous shade neither of us could stand to look at every day.’ Amber sighed and looked at Wilson expectedly . ‘Should we just give up?’
‘No. I don’t like that the neighbors can see into the apartment. It’s creepy.’ Amber laughed again. ‘What?’
‘Nothing. James, I love you.’ Amber said wrapping her arms around his waist and kissing him lightly.
‘I love you too.’
You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done is forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done is forgiven
He looked into the room at House. House looked right back. He turned away from his best friend, not knowing what to say or think. Did he blame him for what happened? He wasn’t entirely sure. Who should he blame anyway? Should he blame himself for not catching what she was taking? Should he blame her for being a doctor and not knowing better? Should he blame House for taking so long to figure out what was going on? Fuck. He didn’t know what to think.
But when he went back to her… their apartment …he saw the note on the bed. It was all over.
I watched the clouds drifting away
Still the sun can't warm my face
I know it was destined to go wrong
You were looking for the great escape
To chase your demons away
Its been weeks since Amber’s death and he still feels numb. He sits at a bench in the park by PPTH , in the sunlight. It seems pointless. Cuddy’s worried about him and sent him to the park in an attempt to help him think clearly. To warm the cold demeanor he had adopted the past few weeks. It didn’t work. Warm his demeanor? Seriously? Did they know him at all? Did they know her at all?
Ooh, for so long I've tried to shield you from the world
Ooh, you couldn't face the freedom on your own
And here I am left in silence
You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done is forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done is forgiven
“Well Mrs. Grayson I have to say your recent tests look really good.” Wilson says to a new patient of his. A young, 25 year old woman that just got married. She began to feel weird about two months ago and she went to her doctor. It turned out she had lung cancer… or they thought she did. She wanted to get a second opinion, and she had heard about Wilson from a friend of hers.
“Really? So I don‘t have lung cancer?!” She asked, excited. Hopeful.
“No. No you don‘t. In fact… it‘s something quite different.”
“Oh? What? ”
“You‘re pregnant Mrs. Grayson. Congratulations.” Mrs. Grayson’s face lit up .
“Oh! Really?! Oh thank you Dr. Wilson! Thank you so much! ” Wilson nodded as he opened the door and smiled at her. She noticed a picture of him and Amber on his wall. “I‘m sure you must be useful at home. What‘s your wife‘s name?” she asked, nodding towards the picture.
“Oh…I‘m…not married. That‘s my…was my girlfriend. Amber.” Mrs. Grayson frowned and looked at him sadly.
“Oh…Dr. Wilson. I‘m so terribly sorry. When did she pass away?” Wilson looked at her, shocked.
“Three months ago…how did you know?”
“Oh sweetie, a woman knows how to read emotions. The look on your face when you started talking about her… you are in pain. I figured…you either broke up or she had passed on. And I didn‘t think you‘d keep a picture of her if you broke up.” Wilson nodded, fighting back tears.
“I see.”
“Oh Dr. Wilson, I am so so sorry for your loss. I understand how painful that can be. But please, don‘t suffer this alone. It will destroy you. Go away for awhile. It might be good for you. I might be younger then you Dr. Wilson, but I understand the ways of the heart better then anyone. I can tell you loved her very much. I can tell you thought she was the one.” Wilson felt a tear slide down his face. “But dear, don‘t let this death rule over your life. You are very talented. You are kind, generous, and charming.” Wilson laughed through his oncoming tears. “You are a beautiful person Dr. Wilson, a beautiful person. You deserve to start over again.”
“Thank you Mrs. Grayson.” He felt a few more tears fall. “Thank you very much.”
“No problem hun. No problem. You seem like such a wonderful person. I tell you what, if you ever want someone to talk to, feel free to call me.” she went into her purse and pulled out a small blank card. She grabbed a pen from his desk and wrote her number down. “You deserve so much more in life then wallowing in the pain of the death of someone you loved. That you still love.” She handed him the card and walked out of his office.
I've been so lost since you've gone
Why not me before you
Why did fate deceive me
Everything turned out so wrong
Why did you leave me in silence?
He did call Mrs. Grayson a few times in the past month. They got together at a coffee house near her house. She had tea not coffee , obviously. He had the same. He always found tea a calming drink. He met her husband, who also managed to help him out.
He was recovering. Slowly…but surely, he was recovering from the most painful event in his life.
You gave up the fight
You left me behind
All that's done's forgiven
You'll always be mine
I know deep inside
All that's done's forgiven
A/N How was it? Terrible? Not? To sad? Not sad enough?